Sibling Rivalry

If you have more than one child, or if you had siblings in the house when you were growing up, you already know first-hand that siblings are going to struggle with one another, compete with one another and irritate one another. I have found some ideas for ways to deal with sibling rivalry that might be worth a try!

5 Ways to Turn Sibling Rivalry into Sibling Revelry

Todd Cartmell, author of the book Keep The Siblings, Lose the Rivalry, says there are three reasons for sibling rivalry: 1. Your child’s living together skills are still developing. 2. Your children live in the same house. 3. You have more than one child. There may not be much you can do about reasons 2 and 3, but there are some things you can do about reason #1.

Strategy 1. Play together. Intentionally spend time together as a family to create that feeling of “we are a team” and “we all belong” in your children.

Strategy 2. Connect individually. Occasionally make each of your children feel like an only child by spending some alone-time with them on a rotating basis.

Strategy 3. Set clear standards and expectations. Let your children know that sibling respect is the standard in your family. Discuss what is expected of them, and also brainstorm on ways everyone can celebrate and support each other.

Strategy 4. Model Healthy Conflict Resolution Skills. When conflict arises, let everyone be heard and guide them in the process of compromise and resolution. Teach them the value of a whole apology, “Will you please forgive me?” “Yes, I forgive you.”

Strategy 5. Teach healthy conflict resolution skills. Not only should parents model good conflict resolution skills, they also must teach those skills to their children. You might have the kids do some role-playing to help them practice these skills.

To read the whole article, click here.

Kid of the Week

Do you have disputes arise in your family over who gets to sit in the front seat, pick the TV show, push the button or go first? I am pretty sure the answer is “Yes!” Well, I found a great idea called, “Kid of the Week” or KOW. Each child in the family gets to be KOW on a rotating basis throughout the year starting on Sundays. Write KOW on each Sunday square of your calendar, and then write your children’s names on those Sunday squares, so your children will know exactly when it will be their turn to be KOW.

This system can greatly reduce spats about who goes first etc, because the KOW always goes first during his or her week. The KOW is the VIP of the family for that week, but it’s OK because the other kids know their turns are coming soon. This usually leads to children learning to take turns and respect each other. Click here to learn more.

Do you have any good ideas for dealing with the sibling rivalry in your family? Please share below.


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