Someone asked me the other day why Marines call each other Brother when they don’t even know the other person. I do this. I told him that whether I served with a person or not, we had a common bond as brothers and sisters willing to sacrifice for the Nation and Freedom, so we had a relationship. While I’m not a psychologist or therapist, I know that life is built on relationships. Relationships are built on time, energy, and trust. Marines who have served together have a strong relationship because they have many shared experiences and time. Marines who served together in combat or stressful duty have stronger bonds because they expended energy overcoming a common challenge. If they relied on each other, they developed trust. Trust underpins all relationships; teams are built on trust, and leadership is based on trust, and that’s because teams and leadership are relationships. All relationships require an investment of time, but the time required depends on the relationship’s scope and the challenge’s significance.
Leaders understand this requirement and invest time in getting to know their people and the resources to develop them. Furthermore, they build relationships with seniors, peers, and subordinates. So how come some people are better at this than others? I won’t go there, but I will tell you that it starts with understanding that leadership is all about your people, not you. A friend of mine, Robin Dreeke, wrote a book titled “Code of Trust” in which he lays out “The Five Rules to Gain Better Trust and Be a Leader,” and my experience is that he is spot on.
Rule #1 Suspend your ego. If you put others first, there is no reason for them not to follow you. Rule #2 Be nonjudgmental. Respect others’ opinions, attitudes, and perspectives- you don’t have to approve them. Rule #3 Validate Others. Recognize the human decency of every person. Rule #4 Honor Reason. Be honest, and resist all forms of manipulation. Rule #5 Be Generous. Selfishness repels, and generosity attracts. It’s a good book; you should read it as it applies to personal and professional relationships.
So this week, focus on Rule #1, suspending your ego, and remember that leadership is about the team, and leaders inspire their followers to transcend to something greater than themselves.
If you need help aligning your performance with your values or learning more about leadership, sign up for my newsletter or set up an appointment at the link below.
Remember, “all things are possible through prayer and heavy deadlifts.”™
